A good day

It is easy to get swept away when you are having a ”good” day. At least for me. A ”good” day might mean: I’m efficient, I get stuff done, I eat well, I exercise well, I have a really nice conversation with someone, I do something creative… and the list goes on. Basically, they are things on my ”good girl list”. Where this list comes from is a little unclear, it’s a mix of multiple sources like my upbringing, society, my own agenda or perhaps someone in my vicinity’s agenda. 

When I’m having a ”good” day, I feel ”good”. I want it to feel like this always. I want to be like this always. That is a major trap right there. How could I ever know what feeling efficient is like unless I have experienced being inefficient? How do I know what it feels like to eat well if I have never eaten unwell? We need contrasts to understand our life. The nuances are what make us distinguish one thing from another. 

If I value what I label as good as better, as more, as the ”right thing”, then to be frank – the majority of my life is going to be sh*t. There is a simple trick that I use to make this equation more in my favor: I simply value good and bad as equally “good”. Preferably as neither good nor bad. It just is. To be happy is just how it is right now and being sad is just what it is right now. Both will pass for sure. That is all we really know: this too shall pass. 

Since I am such a ”good girl”, well trained in what society and my culture want me to do and be like, I was taught and trained in basically only valuing when I could accelerate, do more, do better. To value my gas pedal, but not my brake pedal. 

Today I know better. I know that my gas and brake pedal are one, and one cannot exist without the other. In everyday words that means that some days will be very active, some very passive. Somewhere I feel very joyous and somewhere I feel very sad. There will also be a lot of days where I am just ok. Nothing special, no drama. 

Originally posted on the 6th of August 2022.

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