Connection

I feel lost, confused, and distraught when I lose touch with this. I feel lonely even though I am not necessarily alone. I feel like I am supposed to be or do something else than this. I feel icky, itchy, and restless. Certainly not at ease. This place, uncomfortable as it might be, is so important. Can you stay in this place without having to fix it? I promise you a next, different moment will come. Nothing lasts forever (even though those bad days may very well seem forever long). Can you, even for a moment, stay and hug (oh well) all of your fixing ideas that just want to try and save you from a past you (hopefully) no longer need to be saved from? Can you bear the anxiety? Can you acknowledge your inner workings? 

What would be the point of this, “hugging your old strategies”? If we never pause to reflect on what we are actually doing, we will never learn to do something different. If we are too afraid to stay and see that there is no monster in the closet, only a hurt child who longs to be seen, held, and loved, we will keep running. We will run, run, run – to the next project, the next relationship, or even run from ourselves in our own minds even though we are seemingly in the same place. One fundamental kind of love that we need is the love from ourselves saying “yes, I see me, and it makes sense that I need this and not that” – validate our own experience and then move to help ourselves to the best of our abilities. Then, in a wider scope of things: to help yourself is crucial to be able to help others. 

Stepping through the fire is not for the faint-hearted. I bow down in deep respect to all of you who do the work, who are even curious about doing the work. We all need a bit of work, so we all can get a little more connection. Or should I perhaps call connection by its true name? Love. 



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