{"id":1660,"date":"2025-10-21T11:57:52","date_gmt":"2025-10-21T11:57:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/?p=1660"},"modified":"2025-10-21T11:57:53","modified_gmt":"2025-10-21T11:57:53","slug":"the-gift-of-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/en\/the-gift-of-love\/","title":{"rendered":"The ”gift” of love"},"content":{"rendered":"
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If you are sick of this kind of automatic thinking ruled by the superego, which I wrote about in my last post, the \u201ccure\u201d is to learn how to distinguish reality from fantasy and increase the capacity to hold a complex reality. We are all sometimes \u201cbad\u201d and sometimes \u201cgood\u201d – and we still have intrinsic value as human beings. To learn to hold a more complex reality means work. For some valid reasons, the psyche has learned that this is the \u201csafest\u201d way to handle things. I write \u201csafest\u201d with quotation marks, because it was<\/em> the safest, but now it perpetuates your suffering. It was the safest because it made it possible to maintain the bond with important caregivers when you were little, but now, when you\u2019re grown up, you succumb to the pain of your psyche\u2019s own invention. In short, the negative feelings you felt for many reasons when you were little had nowhere safe to go but back onto you. This is sometimes called the \u201cgift of love\u201d (Benjamin, L) – I take on the negative feelings that don\u2019t fit in our relationship, so our relationship can be good and positive.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>

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If you are sick of this kind of automatic thinking ruled by the superego, which I wrote about in my last post, the \u201ccure\u201d is to learn how to distinguish reality from fantasy and increase the capacity to hold a complex reality. We are all sometimes \u201cbad\u201d and sometimes \u201cgood\u201d – and we still have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t