{"id":1458,"date":"2023-11-06T09:54:21","date_gmt":"2023-11-06T09:54:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/?p=1458"},"modified":"2023-11-06T09:54:22","modified_gmt":"2023-11-06T09:54:22","slug":"to-let-it-die","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/en\/to-let-it-die\/","title":{"rendered":"To let it die\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We generally spend a lot of time in our self-centered dream. For instance, we think and fantasize about what other people can do to ease our suffering, thinking \u201cIf she only did it that way or treated me like this things would be good\u201d or maybe \u201cIf she could only stop that things would be good\u201d. What we do not often realize is that it is exactly this that creates our suffering &#8211; when we can\u2019t face reality for what it is we do all wondrous forms of mental acrobatics to avoid it, often at a quite high price. The price is suffering (it is not the way I want it), helplessness (I can\u2019t do anything about it, it is up to the other person to change), and stuckness (nothing else can happen before the other person moves), to name a few things at the top of my head.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignright size-large is-resized\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1459\" style=\"aspect-ratio:1;width:513px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/To-let-it-die.png 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why do we do these mental acrobatics? Because it is scary and painful to truly experience our feelings underneath all of our avoidance strategies. Of course, it is up to everyone to decide for themselves how they want to navigate life. My experience is that the suffering from clinging to my self-centered dream is ickier and more long-lived than stepping through the fire of my feelings &#8211; which then will settle, making space for new flow of life.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A helpful practice on how to see and work with your mental acrobatics can be to let people or things die. Here, I\u2019m talking about death as in the death of our attachment to our fantasies, projections (what we attach to others, like that they want something from us even though they have actually never said that &#8211; we just think so), and all that we do to avoid life as it is.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So imagine that you are in a difficult spot with someone &#8211; can you let that person in your mind die? What are you hoping that the other person will change for you? Can you see that what you are demanding of the other person is basically \u201cI don\u2019t want you to be you, I want you to be something you are not\u201d. And when you are more \u201csober\u201d, can you start to see how there are so many more options than to bang your head bloody against a wall that won\u2019t bulge?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Feel free to comment, ask questions, like, and share.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Follow me on Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/spaceforreflections\/<br>Facebook: https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100084062719495<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We generally spend a lot of time in our self-centered dream. For instance, we think and fantasize about what other people can do to ease our suffering, thinking \u201cIf she only did it that way or treated me like this things would be good\u201d or maybe \u201cIf she could only stop that things would be [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.1.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We generally spend a lot of time in our self-centered dream. 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