{"id":1348,"date":"2023-10-03T07:59:53","date_gmt":"2023-10-03T07:59:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/?p=1348"},"modified":"2023-10-03T08:55:52","modified_gmt":"2023-10-03T08:55:52","slug":"the-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/en\/the-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood\/","title":{"rendered":"The fruitful practice of parenthood\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Being a mother I get the best practice of my life &#8211;&nbsp; if I dare to show up to it. Let me explain what I mean. My child is a perfect mirror of what I\u2019m up to. I can see how she picks up my tendencies, my words, and my behaviors. Sometimes it\u2019s cute and sometimes it\u2019s painful. More than just seeing my own tendencies, I see things in her actions that sometimes evoke things I dislike about myself. Like when she is whiny and I\u2019m just tired and I end up being annoyed. I dislike being annoyed and it definitely isn\u2019t a feeling I thought I would experience so much when entering parenthood.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I guess I\u2019m not alone in entering parenthood with certain images and ideals of how things \u201cshould be\u201d: \u201cI should and want to be a fun and creative mom!\u201d, \u201cI will teach my kid compassion and it will be wonderful!\u201d, \u201cI will cook nutritious food and let her join in the cooking!\u201d, &#8211; and I will <em>enjoy<\/em> doing all these things. One part of me wants to give her all wonderful, crazy experiences &#8211; like throwing confetti all around and marveling at all the colors &#8211; and another part of me wants to impose control because it feels too much to handle. Here we get to something: what is this \u201ctoo much to handle\u201d? What am I supposed to \u201chandle\u201d?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I think what I\u2019m doing is building my own prison sometimes. I imagine stuff that we should do and it will be \u201cso much fun!!\u201d, and then that is not the reality of things. The weather wasn\u2019t right, both of us or one of us were\/was low on energy, the clothes didn\u2019t feel right, and what else. I\u2019m trying so hard to just make it work, to try and paint reality in the colors of my imagination, but it simply doesn\u2019t match well enough. Ok, so things didn\u2019t go the way I had planned them\/hoped they would go\/imagined. But what do I do with that?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My go-to solution to this sort of issue has been \u201cIt\u2019s got to be my fault\u201d. If <em>I<\/em> was just more like that and less like this, it would be \u201call good\u201d. The disappointment is <em>my<\/em> fault and if <em>I <\/em>just tried harder things would be wonderful. It is a convenient strategy in the sense that I \u201cknow\u201d the cause of the \u201cproblem\u201d, but how does this make me feel? Awful! And what happens next? Well, I sulk. Will I be able to be present with my child, as was the original intention? Meh. By interacting with my baby girl I get the chance to practice another \u201csolution\u201d because I have seen where my old one takes me and it\u2019s not beneficial for anyone &#8211; it makes me depressed and my child lonely.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The practice is to see the disappointment. Not \u201cI <em>am<\/em> the disappointment\u201d but rather, \u201cI\u2019m disappointed\u201d. If I go to the former I make it all about me and I will tend to continue thoughts and stories on that topic and make myself miserable. If I go to the latter I will validate my experience of disappointment. The trick is to stop there because otherwise, it\u2019s tempting to tap into \u201cI\u2019m disappointed &#8211; and it\u2019s <em>your<\/em> fault\u201d. The feelings that the disappointment evoke, may it be annoyance or sadness, are in me and were created in me &#8211; \u201cyou\u201d didn\u2019t put it there (although people can disappoint us of course). When I acknowledge my own feelings it\u2019s much easier for me to let down my guard and stay present in the moment (\u201cYeah, this sucks!\u201d). All the mental energy that previously went into story-making is at my disposal.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If anything, this is what I want to teach my daughter, and I am so grateful for what she is teaching me, relentlessly, over and over again &#8211; if I just dare to show up to it. It is scary to acknowledge and admit what I\u2019m really up to and I think that is what I mean by \u201ctoo much to handle\u201d &#8211; I would have to let go of all my comfort blankets (how things \u201cshould\u201d be) on how to navigate this world and just show up to the next moment &#8211; as I am.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you recognize any of these \u201cstrategies\u201d in yourself? Or do you have a different \u201ctheme\u201d on yours?&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-1024x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1349\" srcset=\"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-1024x1024.png 1024w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-768x768.png 768w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/The-fruitful-practice-of-parenthood.png 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br><br>Follow me on Instagram: https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/spaceforreflections\/<br>Facebook: https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php?id=100084062719495<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being a mother I get the best practice of my life &#8211;&nbsp; if I dare to show up to it. Let me explain what I mean. My child is a perfect mirror of what I\u2019m up to. I can see how she picks up my tendencies, my words, and my behaviors. Sometimes it\u2019s cute and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.10 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Being a mother I get the best practice of my life - if I dare to show up to it. 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