{"id":1183,"date":"2023-03-07T09:05:30","date_gmt":"2023-03-07T09:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/?p=1183"},"modified":"2023-03-07T09:05:30","modified_gmt":"2023-03-07T09:05:30","slug":"to-change-or-not-to-change-or-do-we-even-have-an-option","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/spaceforreflections.com\/en\/to-change-or-not-to-change-or-do-we-even-have-an-option\/","title":{"rendered":"To change or not to change, or do we even have an option?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yet another day passes where I hope I can just decide to change the way I am in the hope to become someone more aligned with what I think would make my life easier and better: if I wasn\u2019t so scared, if I was more spontaneous, less annoyed, less tired\u2026 the list goes on. This text is for me and for anyone else who could use some \u201cwholesome\u201d reminders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I can decide to step outside my comfort zone and change my action in the here and now, but to take on changing my whole person in one thought process? Not so successful. Rather disappointing. I can only work with what I have now. There is nothing wrong with goals, as long as I don\u2019t live like my life starts somewhere over there. My life is now. Happening right now. This is it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the same time, if one wants to see something different happening in life, we can\u2019t go on doing the same thing over and over and just hope for a different result. It simply won\u2019t happen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another tricky one is that we tend to forget to see how far we\u2019ve come. We forget to celebrate all that we are doing, instead of hating on ourselves for the things we are not doing, not doing well enough or shouldn\u2019t be doing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also, look at it from a bigger picture. What did you do in your desired direction in the course of a month, a year or years instead of just this day? (Interesting note: I usually use this trick when it comes to babies\u2019 nutrition. Maybe they didn\u2019t eat all the nutrients they needed over one day, but did they over a week?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Interestingly enough, when I\u2019m stressing about not feeling enough in one way or another, I have usually lost track of what really matters to me. I\u2019m usually fretting around topics of not working hard enough or that my home is way too messy to mention a few things. But when I sit down to reflect, what I always come back to is that I want to spend time with my loved ones and that I want to expand my horizons intellectually, creatively and experientially. Yes, I need to cook so that I and my loved ones can receive sustenance and hence be alive, but that is pretty far from making Instagram-friendly meals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On a more existential note, don\u2019t forget that you don\u2019t have to achieve anything in the material world to have a right to exist. You already exist. What you do with, think or feel about it is another story (!!). Be careful in spreading uncalled-for blame on life or upon others. Life is not \u201cfair\u201d, whatever that is on a cosmic level. So, what are you doing, and for whom? Be honest! Often we think we are doing nice things to others when we are really just trying to cope with our own anxiety. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To change or not to change, or do we even have an option \u2013 of course, we have an option. It might just not be the one you imagined. And oh, perhaps try not to think about this too much and actually go do something? As one of my daughter\u2019s favorite songs goes \u201cthe wheels on the bus go round and round\u2026 all through the town\u201d \u2013 the wheels of your mind will keep spinning \u2013 that is their job! To produce thought after thought \u2013 especially thought with potential danger content. The trick is to not get caught, the thoughts are just suggestions after all, not absolute truths. So when I suggest \u201cgo do something\u201d I don\u2019t mean to necessarily be productive, I just mean the wheels will keep spinning until some other input comes. Go feed yourself some compassionate action, whatever that may look like. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take-home points:<\/p>\n\n\n\n