For the last two months, I\u2019ve been spending my time walking 600 miles of the Florida Trail. There are so many impressions to write about, I don\u2019t quite know where to start. Well, to begin with, I can say it didn\u2019t turn out as I expected it would. Do you know when before a trip you can get lost in daydreams about what it\u2019s going to be like? Those daydreams did not come true. The reality was in many ways far better. In some ways harder than imagined. Overall I am very happy that I got out here and did it.
I\u2019ve done some trips on my own now. One thing that always strikes me, which I would think I got passed by now, is the notion that I think I\u2019m going to end up as this transformed being during and after the trip. The stuff that\u2019s bothering me at home will miraculously be worked out never to bother me again. That is so very not true as I\u2019ve experienced on multiple occasions by now. The same shit that I\u2019m struggling with at home follows me everywhere. And really, the things I\u2019m struggling with are nothing unique. It\u2019s the same hardships as many of you out there face. Fear of being alone and abandoned. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not being independent enough. Fear of needing help and people. Anger and frustration regarding people and why I can\u2019t seem to shake it. Insecurity. Indecisiveness. Anxiety. Being overwhelmed. These things follow me wherever I go. Even though I\u2019m not particularly fond of them most of the time they are my greatest teachers. Practice opportunities. Ques to tell me where to look deeper. When I\u2019m not willing to be with life as it is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In our western culture, there is a great divide between \u201cpositive and negative\u201d emotions; some we like and some we dislike. The ones that are supposed to be there and those which shouldn\u2019t be there at all. The wanted and the unwished for. This dichotomy is the greatest illusion of my life. The delusion which keeps me separated from life and love, and makes me judgemental of people and myself.
Someone does something that makes me angry: boom! Bad feeling, nasty person, guilt-ridden me etcetera etcetera, keeping the circle of suffering going. And don\u2019t get me wrong here, suffering is not bad and neither are feelings. They are just part of the current which keeps the river called life flowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to walking \u2013 when walking and being out there with your backpack filled with all that you need, things are stripped down. No schedule to keep in the everyday life kind of way, no meetings to attend to, and so on. It\u2019s just you walking. Your feet start to hurt, you are hungry, it\u2019s too hot, it\u2019s too cold\u2026 These simple, inevitable parts of life come knocking on your door. How are you going to greet them? Shut the door in their face pretending they\u2019re not there? Letting them in and letting them take over your house? Are you happy to see them or eager to see them go? What does that bring up in you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Walking for a long time is a blessing. An opportunity to watch yourself in n action. It may sound ridiculous, I mean, you can watch yourself all the time, but I know I don\u2019t. I\u2019m mindless, forgetful, daydreaming away my time a lot in my ordinary everyday life. I\u2019m often on autopilot. Things need to get done. Out in the woods, I get help from my surroundings noticing how I greet things that I encounter and how I choose to move on from that point. How I treat myself and how I treat others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now I know more of what I already knew and I will keep asking myself the same question as always: are you willing to meet life as it is?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Originally posted on the 24th of May 2020.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For the last two months, I\u2019ve been spending my time walking 600 miles of the Florida Trail. There are so many impressions to write about, I don\u2019t quite know where to start. Well, to begin with, I can say it didn\u2019t turn out as I expected it would. Do you know when before a trip […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t