I guess you know what I mean – you have this icky feeling that something in your life is not quite like you would like it. May it be your relationships, they way you are, your practice, your looks… and the list goes on. We humans are funny with our great ability to think, to problemsolve, but we are also masters of illusions (or should I say delusions…). “If only this was like that”, “if only I was like this”, “if only he would be that way”. Well guess what? Things are as they are! We really don’t have that much power as we think. Not to say we are completely powerless, but many of our fantasies will stay just that. Even when things do go by our way I can assure you it was not in the way you imagined.
So what are we going to do? Suck it up? Forget about our fantasies? Never strive for anything? No, I believe the answer lies within being honest with yourself – what are you really experiencing? Are you fleeing from something? What happens if you open up to what is right here and now? We don’t like unpleasantries so no wonder we don’t want to stick around and experience whatever that makes us feel icky.
And just to make it clear, there is nothing wrong with fantasizing. There is nothing wrong with liking some things and disliking others. There is nothing wrong with having opinions. But when we are completely governed out of our awareness by these things we are imprisoned and we are very likely suffocating the life juice out of ourselves and others. (but yeah, nothing wrong with being imprisoned either!!)
So let there be some space. If you wish. Know that there is nowhere to go really. You are where you are, in this moment.